Before I get into today’s blog, I need to do a little housekeeping. You may have noticed that my blog is a little different today. For a long time I made the decision to keep this blog secular so that I wouldn’t scare anyone off. However, I’ve realized that my faith has played an enormous part in my journey toward health and wellness, so I should definitely talk about it. Many times I have had ideas for blogs that I shelved because they may have crossed that invisible line into the spiritual realm, but I decided not to do that anymore. I’m still the same girl who fought (and WON!) a long battle with postpartum depression, reclaimed my confidence after years of self-loathing, lost almost 75 pounds and decided to speak up about all the lessons I learned along the way, no matter how taboo the subject matter. The only difference is that now you know I couldn’t have done any of it without Christ.
Okay so that’s out of the way and I hope you’re still reading. For those who left, I pray that you will come back soon, whether it’s out of curiosity or the realization that you just can’t live without my quick wit, life lessons and verbose stories. That was a joke. Moving right along….
I’ve been thinking in “ifs” lately, and it’s stopping me from making progress. I keep thinking things like:
“IF I could just find a new babysitter…”
“IF I can buy a new car and finish the insurance paperwork for the old one…”
“IF I can start the divorce process…”
“IF my back would feel better…”
My thinking has been that IF all these things would fall into place, then I could refocus on my physical and emotional health. But you know what? My thinking has been backwards, and even the Bible says so:
“Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.” Ecclesiastes 11:4
What does that mean? Let me say it another way, borrowing some wise words from my pastor:
“You don’t get good to get God. You get God to get good.”
Still having trouble? Let’s take it out of church and put it into words we can all understand:
And there it is. If you wait for perfect conditions, you will NEVER get ANYTHING done. If you wait until you stop sinning to start going to church, you’re going to be waiting forever. If you wait until you lose 20 pounds to join the gym, it’s very likely that you are going to remain at least 20 pounds overweight indefinitely. And if I wait for every single aspect of my life to fall into its perfect little stress-free compartment, I’m going to be living in constant mental and emotional chaos. Why do we do it to ourselves? I guess it’s just human nature. Sometimes it’s a chicken-and-egg situation in which it’s hard to tell which thing comes first. Sometimes it’s fear of the unknown or fear of failure. Whatever the reason, try to identify it and then throw it right out the window. You know why? Because we will NEVER be perfect. Not you, not me. So if that’s what we’re waiting for in order to make any kind of progress, we had better get comfortable right where we are because we aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
So what do we do now? Take action. For me, that means logging into MyFitnessPal.com for the first time in awhile and starting to keep track of my calories again. It means no more trying to push through the pain at the gym and act like I’m not hurt. But it doesn’t mean sitting at home with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a spoon, upset that I can’t work out the way I want to because of my back. It means modifying my workouts but getting my butt to the gym to do something. And when I do those things I will no longer have the desire to sit at home and feel stuck and stressed out. I’ll feel proud of myself, motivated, and STRONG. And that’s how I need to feel to bring my A-Game in all aspects of life. The conditions will never be perfect. I will never be perfect. There will always be something trying to stand in my way. But that doesn’t mean I have to let it.